Chinese torture......... the Indian way!!

That is what was meted out to all the cricket fanatics in India. The Indian Cricket team is professional in that capacity. Bastards. They never looked like winning; what with the horrid body language, unbelievably insipid bowling attack, supremely sloppy fielding, and frustratingly underperforming batting. The so called medium pace bowlers, who are only spinners at best who bowl with an intended, yet not so upright seam, are out to prove their mettle by banging the ball in short. End result: dolly short pitches at waist height, which the most incapable of batsmen, that too West Indian, are able to dispatch to the boundaries with absolute disdain. Ronacko Morton displayed his world class batting skills, in the way he got dismissed. He was able to pitch his tent on the pitch and milk the Indian bowling attack. Strange that it should be called an attack. It was the most inept and artless of bowling performances. Pathan and Agarkar were spraying the balls all over the pitch. Maybe they thought the pitch wasn’t well rolled and took it upon themselves to do the needful and even it out by bowling all over it. Brilliant. Definitely, the Indians have been endowed with the trait of unconditional love. Most of the international players have their bests against India. Quite a reputation to uphold.. eh!

Fanatics we are, to sit and watch the entire match in the hope that these bungling fools can actually pull something off. Match fixing... not even a possibility. These guys don’t seem to be able to do anything at will. What was Dravid doing on the field? Is he the captain? I’d rather have a Ganguly on the field. However bad his form is; whatever flak he takes from the media, critics and a billion maniacal morons; he fights on the field as a captain. He expresses emotion. Mongia and More always made their presence felt with their incessant shouts of encouragement. Dhoni obviously thinks he’s a gentleman who’ll lose out on his ad-value if he shouts too much on the field. Get me eleven incapable players, who at least look passionate on the field, and I’ll be a lot happier.

And whenever there seems to be the slightest chance of victory, a sliver of hope, the Indians look upon it as a glorious chance to prove what spineless jerks they are: Yuvraj misfields, Raina drops a catch( not to be undone, Dravid joins in), Munaf sprawls prostrate on the field after the ball is well past him; while the skipper, Dravid looks askance hoping for some divine intervention. It’s like hearing that your mother passed away, a split second before you are about to climax.

I haven’t used more expletives. I haven’t felt more like tearing my hair off, stuffing the lump down my throat and then committing hara-kiri to pull it out.

Disclaimer : This post was written right after India lost hopelessly to the Windies. I was not in my senses then and this is an expression of my exasperation then.